So I went and visited a good friend in the hospital yesteraday. Kimmy Hawk. Kimmy is somewhere in her 40's. . . which is pretty good for a person with Down's syndrom. Kimmy was one of the most positive people that I have ever met. Even in the hospital if asked how she was doing, she would always respond with "terrific" or "great".

However Kimmy isn't doing great right now. Down's hearts aren't as stron as ours and they can only take so much pressure. She's had a few strokes and some surgeries and it's taking it's toll now.

I know it's probably time, they've let her go home so she can watch her birds and listen to southern Gospel music. Yet, that doesn't make it any easier. I'm not sure that I'll ever really get used to this death thing.

I think it is these moments that I understand God the least. I've heard all of the arguments, and ready a large amount of them so please don't give me God is good and loves us all and works all things for his good, because I know. And I don't want to hear that Sin started all pain, nor do I want to hear that I can't see what good is coming out of it, cause I've heard all that too. Tel that to Kim and her parents who are watching their little girl die, without really living in some senses.

Which brings me to this weird why do you do this God deal. Just last month the daughter of my mentor was in a hospital dying. Her levels of something or another was higher than allowed life. She was in a coma and was not going to wake up. Then something happened and she did wake up. 5 of the 7 doctors have called it intervention, and I truly believe it was, because I know God is capable of that and he's done it in my life. So why those prayers answered and not the one's for Kim? I don't know, and I'm starting to think this is where the faith thing comes in. I don't know that we will ever have an answer for why there is pain. I don't think we'll ever logically explain it, and I"m not sure we'll even get the answers in heaven. . . .

Or maybe I'm jsut sad tonight.