I am not, but I AM is

So I realize that I’ve been slacking hardcore, and I want to apologize. I have however been working on my thoughts on Peter so I thought I’d give another installment.

“Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were troubled saying “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But Immediately Jesus spoke to them saying “Be of good cheer it is I; do not be afraid.”

The fourth watch of the night is someplace between 3:00 AM and 6:00 AM. If the feeding of the 5000 had happened around 6:00 PM the evening before, the disciples had been rowing for perhaps six to nine hours! The had to have been totally exhausted, for they had rowed “many furlongs” away from the land (each furlong is about 2 football fields) and still had much to row. And then out of nowhere an apparition starts moving its way across the water towards them. And the passage says “and they were troubled.”


I can remember my first “horror flick.” I was 16 years old and a group of us wanted to watch Scream. It was the big hit that year and anyone that was anyone was watching it. Yes I realize that I wasn’t 17 yet, and yes I realize I had been forbidden to watch these types of movies, and especially if I was not yet of age. So with much guilt, yet excitement, we turned it on. The first scene is still burned into my brain: the girl making popcorn, the phone rings, that raspy voice asking “what’s your favorite horror movie.”

I even remember that I was laying on the top part of the couch because there wasn’t enough space to go around. Slowly the plot started to weave its way through, mystery here-murder there, slow scary music sprinkled as appropriate. Each of us only left the room to grab a quick Mountain Dew, or to release one we had partaken of earlier in the evening. Suddenly, the movie took a turn, the girl was running away, the killer hot in pursuit, the music starts to climax and there is a knock on the window beside me!!!

I scream; flip off of the couch (busting my lip and bruising my arm) and take off up the stairs (typical scary movie move, going upstairs when I should be going out the front door). Now we all know what happened … I don’t even have to tell you, one of the guys thought it would be funny to scare the others. However, for the rest of the night I was convinced that there was something out there. My brain started playing tricks on me. Every movement was a killer, every sound a monster, every light a threat to my very existence.


That, I believe, is the state of the disciples as we enter into this part of the passage. They are tired, their arms are hurting, their minds are weary, and they look to see something walking towards them. They were more than troubled. They were petrified, horrified, stupefied, any other “--fied” that means freaking out! As if their problem of the storm wasn’t bad enough there is a ghost out to get them. And then come these words …

“It is I; do not be afraid.” Or perhaps translated “I AM!” This was more than just a simple “Hello” this was a declaration that God had come upon the scene.

We can go back to Ex 3:11-17. Moses is about to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt and he asks God what He is to tell the people when asked “what is the name of this God?” And God responds “I AM WHO I AM.” You will tell them “I AM has sent me to you.” Once again a declaration has been made. This name is wrapped around the verb “to be”. The “present one” the one “who is.” What an exhilarating thought to the Israelites, their GOD is present! Even in Egypt “He is!” Even at their low times, their tough times, their times of fear and persecution “He is.” And at the times that we are not strong enough “I AM is.” And when things are going crazy and we don’t know who is in control “I AM”. When waves are crashing down on us and our boat is being tipped and we don’t know who is strong enough to keep us moving forward, “I am not, but I AM is!”

So Christ walks out, the very problems that seemed over their head were now laying at his feet. Those monstrous waves looked little more than a kiddie pool. The wind was nothing more than a soft breath. For God had shown up. Life is not easy, especially when things get out of control and I’m at my lowest points, and I don’t know who can help. I have found that I cannot … but I AM can.